26 Aug 2011

The Flaming Kitty Copter

Crafting is one of those things I love about MMOs. Being able to gather stuff in the game world and make items from them always makes me smile. It doesn’t even matter if they’re useful or not as long as they do something – anything.

The only thing that gnaws at me is that crafting always seems to be a little limited. From Warcraft to Minecraft there are specific schematics that stipulate the stuff that’s required to make the item. You never get a chance to go off schema.

At least not normally…

I don’t know how I made the connection, but it all started back on an episode of GroupQuest. We were talking about Fandral Staghelm transforming into a flaming cat as one of his phases, and how he also dropped loot that would allow any druid to become a flaming cat too. Of course I had to take it a step too far.

My first thought was about the buttered cat paradox – the theory that because a cat always lands on it’s feed but toast always lands butter side down, a buttered cat would rotate on the spot. But what could you use a spinning, flaming cat for? Answer: A Flaming Kitty Copter!

Of course, you wouldn’t be able to use just any butter as it’d just evaporate into nothingness. What you’d need is Volatile Butter infused with high quantities of pure elements and magical power. You’d need cows that grazed on arcane-infused grass, possibly a side-effect of some major thaumatic event.

For every madcap invention there’s also a practical side. The Kitty Copter would mean that those people who wouldn’t normally be able to show off a flaming kitty can do so in a practical yet unique way. The mana-flinger would provide a way for people who can’t use wands with a way to augment their guns and bows to fire magical bolts instead. The Mount Transmogrifer would change someone on a mammoth on top of a questgiver to a tiny passenger on one of those tiny steam tonk toys.

What would you build if you could make anything you want? Something so awesomely terrible that the mere mention of it would strike fear into the hearts of your enemies? Or something that’s guaranteed to make even the most stonefaced guildmate break into a smile?

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