8 Aug 2010

Under The Sea

Spoiler Alert: Pictures of fish! With funny names! And funny faces! And nothing at all to do with anything else really, apart from the funny fishes! It’s not even mage-y!

As you probably know already, Cataclysm ushers in a whole range of changes. New places to explore, new creatures to see. For the seasoned adventurer it’s like being a kid in a toystore – you want to look at everything all at once, and your determined to try growing a bazillion eyes in order to do it.

Since I’ve been spending a lot of time gawking at these strange creatures instead of actually doing any beta testing, I thought I’d share some pictures of them. Be warned, there are pictures of fish ahead.

The Subservient Trayfish is the butler of the deep sea. He’s at his happiest when ushering around small plates of canapes and sandwiches on his back. The Lazy Susan of the underwater world.

Some trayfish have been known to go rogue and decapitate several guestfish at classy evening dinner parties. Fortunately, such instances are rare. Even so, it is important to treat your trayfish with respect and to never ever overload them.

The Superhappyfish is always super happy. With a broad smile on his face and wide eyes, he’s always managed to find something to be cheerful about. Maybe it’s because he’s found a date for the fishy prom? Maybe because he’s found some very sugary plankton and is running around in a sugar rush super happy frenzy?

The current theory is that the Superhappyfish is one of those unnaturally happy creatures of the universe. You’ve probably seen them – you probably work with some of them. Why are they always super happy? No-one knows…

Closely related to the Superhappyfish, the Caffeinated Greenfish is a nervous fellow that seems to be easily startled and quite jittery. He can often be found sidling up to Barristasharks, or cautiously nibbling at coral. He tries to smile, but it’s more of a frown.

The Caffeinated Greenfish can be hard to spot during the daytime, particularly at mornings. When woken, he often bubbles in annoyance and pulls a blanket of seaweed over himself. Apparently mornings are something that doesn’t happen to the Caffeinated Greenfish.

The Deadly Omnomnomfish is a formiddable creature that should be approached with caution. Almost hunted to extinction by those seeking to make imitation druid shoulderpieces, the Omnomnomfish takes revenge by attempting to nom anyone who dares attack it. You think sharks are bad?

Once the Omnomnomfish latches on to you with it’s nommning teeth, it drags you away from wherever you happen to be to it’s lair. Known as the Pit of Nomming, this is where you will be slowly nommed to death over the course of several weeks. You see, the Omnomnomfish doesn’t believe in good dental hygiene, meaning that you’ll mostly be brutally gummed.

Wrapping up our undersea voyage, the Old Rockerfish is a bitter creature with a foul temper. He can remember the good old days when the music of the sea was filled with powerful riffs and moving lyrics. He even had a part in a local band playing sea-bass.

Those days are long gone, and for the grumpy old Rockerfish it makes him sad. The irritating “choons” that the Superhappyfish keeps on playing FAR TOO LOUD just give him headaches.

Occasionally, groups of Old Rockerfish have been known to reform, playing that old music in undersea jazz cafes to groups of hip young things like the Caffeinated Greenfish. But he plays his tunes with a tear in his eye. It all runs deep to him. Real deep.

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