16 Nov 2013

Mister Sparkles Mini: The Winners (Part 2)

At the end of October, I asked for people to design me a golem in order to win a Mister Sparkles Mini. The response has been overwhelming, with so many incredible responses. I really was amazed by the work everyone put in, and it made choosing some winners incredibly difficult.

As I mentioned before, the incredibly kind folks at ArenaNet gave me some extra codes, so I’ve got five Mister Sparkles Minis to give away. Without further ado, let me share the winners with you!

Firstly, Ely contacted me with this entry. She also included a gallery to go alongside the story:


To many, Rata Sum is a wonderful place,
Full of science and ingenuous grace.
For other, it’s a distant memory,
Reminder of a time they had family.

This is the story of Ely, peacekeeper and guardian of the Pact.

From the day she could begin her studies, kids from Rata Sum thought Ely was weird. Instead of playing Polymock or RC Golem after classes, she spent most of her time exploring every inch of the city, its angles, lifts and gears, looking for the old lab her parents used to work in, until the “incident” happened. As a result she was rapidly made fun of and picked upon, “What kind of a weirdo spends more time drawing plans of the city than having fun?”

After two years spent running from floor to floor and mapping the city she couldn’t make sense of it. There was no lab matching the description her uncle and aunt had made. She ventured in Metrica Provinces, asking around if an old lab would be lost somewhere around. But no one seemed to remember any explosion or such lab and by the time she finished her basic classes of Statics, Dynamics and Synergetics she had no more than what she started with.

Determined to get to the bottom of this mystery she confronted her uncle and aunt. As many times before they told her about that time when she was little and that tragic moment when her parents pushed their experimentation past the point of no return, leading to their “glorious death” as they always said. “Death for knowledge! Isn’t that beautiful?!” But Ely wasn’t a kid anymore, and she wasn’t convinced. Pushing her argument she waved the explanation and pulled out her map of the province.

The look on their face was enough for her to understand she was right. They sat down and started telling a totally different story: how her parents did excel at designing travel gates and portal, how they were recruited to be part of a joint taskforce, a small organization of “visionaries” that thought the threat of Dragons was growing closer to annihilate Tyria. And finally how they got trapped on their way south from Sparkfly Fen by minions of Zhaïtan, alongside their charr companion who barely managed to bring their corpses back to the Rata Sum thanks to their latest prototype of Personal Transportation Portal.

The day after Ely was gone. She only reappeared a few days before she was supposed to present her krewe’s invention – a Very Old Energy Detector – to the Snaff prize judges. When asked what her first invention was, a few judges could sense an imperceptible hesitation: “An Infinity Ball, it was an Infinity Ball.”

What lies behind that hesitation? The work of her life, fully designed before she started her journey throughout Tyria, chasing after the shadows of those who killed her parents. Wherever she went she perfected her fighting skills, aspiring to become the shield that her companions’ enemies would crush on, the guardian that her parents could have used. And she looked for the perfect components to match her plans towards the absolute defense construct: the Geometrically Automated Multi-Modal Armor (G.A.M.M.A.).

To finally create it she travelled through all of Tyria, comparing and analyzing her findings continuously until she finally came to a list of [X] elements:

  • Deldrimor Ingots to shape the main body of the golem
  • A Blue Geod to power its core and a Power Matrix to keep it under control
  • Two Golem arms: one is enhanced with a special Flamethrower, token of Ely’s friendship with Jezza, the brave Hylek fighter of Sarkfly Fen. The other is mounted with an Experimental rifle, designed after the weapon of an evil inquest ornithologist by Livilla, a friend from Malchor’s Leap.
  • To complete its mission the W.A.L.L. is loaded with Healing Seed Pods and Ash Legion Spy Kits which it dispenses to heal and hide the people under its protection.
  • As a last resort solution it can also rely on a Shield of Absorption, powered by firefly essences.

To seal the construct a motto is engraved inside its armor, in order to prevent any attempt at bypassing its core functionalities and turn it into an offensive weapon.

Next, Cassper sent in this great idea of a heroic golem to rival Traehearne himself! Introducing the T-HRN 2.4!


I’m not sure if Celestial Vengeance or the Skritt she worked with should take credit for this, but between them they came up with a SHINY Golem! Not only did they come up with the blueprints for this design, but also a model! You can catch further images in this gallery.



Jeromai had an idea for an Omicron golem, which they then made a model of! Here’s some more info behind the idea, and you can find how the model was made in this gallery.

Greetings and salutations!

Fortified walls in the Mist War get you down? I bring to you the next evolution of siege golem, just as game-changing as the Omega Golem from an Alpha.

The Omicron Golem is designed to tackle what the Alphas and Omegas cannot, the solid stone and metal structures of a keep left too long in enemy hands. Why endure primitive bookah technology like catapults and trebuchets pounding away for eons when you can roll up in air-conditioned comfort and direct the Omicron to deconstruct fortifications just as rapidly as Omegas on gates?

Inspired by a historical image discovered in an old abandoned asuran lab, and re-utilizing salvaged Inquest technology for better purposes, this new design marries the latest in eco-friendly thaumafusion power crystals with the robustness and longevity of a proven golem construction material: granite.

It is eventually biodegradeable, but will last you centuries! (See footnote 1 in small print.)

Its four-legged chassis is able to navigate rough terrain where wheels or bipedal models may operate at severely reduced efficiencies. Its three-digit hands are numerically efficient, with each digit able to rotate independently and form a claw or hook as required for grasping material or a shovel for earth-moving. Its camera and vision functions are programmed for wavelengths in the electromagnetic spectrum from infrared to x-rays to best determine optimal areas of weaknesses to attack a fortification.

An add-on purchase can be made for lens crystals and arcane mirrors that generate a defensive laser beam from its eye. Other optional add-ons include cushioned seats for asura and bookah sizes, an audio-generator that automatically provides music for optimum relaxed alertness or aggression as the situation dictates, and an excellent espresso machine.

No sentient creatures were harmed in the making of this golem.

Yours truly,
Genius Inventor, Pact Commander, and the distinctly better half of
Shudd & Shodd’s Agency for World Domination

1: Claim does not apply in eventualities such as hostile acts of the enemy, civil commotion, sabotage, or other unforeseen acts of gods. Fire, flood and earthquakes may increase wear-and-tear and induce diminished operating lifespan.


Finally, Trekks came up with the idea for DANGER, a combined golem and power suit to act as a researching aid. Here’s the detail in full:

I’m Trekks, golemancer of synergetic college and always travelling arcanist working actually for the priory (because in Metrica province I’m always surrounded by incompetents).

This is an idea I had when the cave spiders eat for the third time my packages dolyaks crossing northern Magumaa jungle. I would try to make the perfect assistant fiting to my expectations in research, and the standards golems are so limited for that…

So I’m humbly requesting for your benevolent attention on this unfinished introduction and *feigning modesty*

Anyway, there are the plans *place a crystalline cube on a strange device at his side and a schematic holographic model appears*By the way… I made a translation for not Tyrian strangers.

Code projet : 4357

Type: Golem/ power suit

Name: <b>D.A.N.G.E.R</b> (Dreamt Assistant for Novice Geniuses and Experimental Researches).

Short description: must be the dream of every asuran scientist and the best protector than even Snaff and Sandy would be jealous.

It Ally war technology and researches performances. The golem and the power suit; 2 opposite functions in a single creation:

…awesome isn’t it?

Want engineering rigor? Then keep your brain cooled…it may take some time.

So let’s start the presentation; firstly some technical details (resume for Bookah see below):

D.A.N.G.E.R is based upon an omega siege golem reinforced structure. It integrates the following functions and these innovative parts:

– (1) Leave rock or brittle granite for staticians… The golem is equipped with an armored force-field shield emitting multiples holo-plates anti projectiles in addition to a classical protection; model CH121 (should resist to heavy charr artillery), and a reinforced multilayer plating of Deldrimor (2) steel and purified orichalcum nitride (micro hollow tetrahedral structures between plating for toughness and lightness of the frame) which make one of the best actual shielding…

The entire structure is reinforced with an additional exoskeleton, cylinders keeping members together and sustaining add-ons, but the different parts of the body are still interconnected with massive power crystals (hidden) surrounded and protected by crystalline energetic field-container (otherwise it would attract the other golem’s power crystal nearby).

-Poly-metallic energy cells for temporary energy storage and infinite-fractal composed semiliquid thauma-crystal core generator (the process alterate the reality, superposing many crystals from parallels versions of the golem’s reactor through different and equals sub-universes combining at the same place an infinite numbers of power crystals giving it a nearly infinite energy, because all the parallels crystals won’t be depleted at the same time). The alteration of reality is finally contained by a special force field around the core and the energy picked out with a new version of black steel electrodes.

To remove every ten years by Skritts or slav…hum humm young assistant, away from gravimetric relays (reactor model Y460, prototype highly unstable from synergetic labs with a core of molten magnetite)  and everything floating in general (the radiance seems to scramble locally the gravity field)

The fusion core work with purified water or liquor of ethanic limon (for cooling and defrosting capacities…that’s maybe why Oozes could survive in frost gorges) and samples of subaquatic creatures for carbonic and hydrogenous additive (Quaggan are the most effective…hey, put your peacemaker rifle down, I’m joking, the reactor is autonomous toward carburant)…moreover the remaining heat is permanently controlled and evacuated by always recharging Klabb’s well-known freeze crystals technology.

– (3) To keep an entire control of the golem and conduct energy between the different joints of the body’s parts (the mains tetragonal-octahedral shoulder or tetra-hexahedral and dodecahedral leg crystals), the microscopic power crystals are conducting energy from the reactor across the gaps of the tetrahedral inter-plating structures, trapped in the metal. To create its, the miniature power crystals are enchanted in a liquid form uniformly at a very high temperature and frozen quickly to create microscopic crystalline structure in the liquid, which are used there; spreading the entire charge of the original crystal equally (Snaff used a powder of a single crystal, full of irregularity between the core, vertices and edges…and please don’t tell Zojja about this remark…she will send Mr Sparkles to crush my temporary assistant golem). Once the orichalcum prepared, the mini-crystals are trapped in the alloy and make it conductive without losses of energy and transmit order from the four thauma-crystals main cores to every part of D.A.N.G.E.R…

-The reactor is installed in the back, protected with a force field bubble from sabotage and filtering the harmful radiance. A dual rocket launcher platform protects this critical spot.

The tow dual plasma guns (4) on the shoulders could target automatically the opponents but the rate of fire, due to the energy spent, is quite low.

– (5) Each leg is equipped with four removable grippers, matching the shape of the soil, sustaining D.A.N.G.E.R and allowing a great stability with only two legs, but it actually slow down any sort of speed run…

– (6) One arm equipped with a flamethrower (because it’s a really effective weapon against plants, bugs or risen) producing a fluoric (for chemicals burning) or simply a fuel jet, burst and flow controlled.

Could also spread many liquid or gazes contained in the tank (7), minor modifications are sufficient to make it work…

-Psi-coherent light beam integrated in the left arm to cut and pierce everything with precision (this tool is also a mean to dissipate the excess of energy from the reactor). The first option produces a little flame which could also weld metals perfectly. The punch right arm (8) was designed to knock out an Ettin.

An option allows the installation of a grab (9), may be useful to finish a fugitive or help anyone to climb (but so annoying to roll back).

One arm to destroy or make tasks requiring strength, the other one to manipulates very fragile samples.

All these option fits around the “hands” with four “fingers” (14) kept under a sensitive control (three aren’t enough) which allows manipulations with a great precision.

-Last quadri-core golem intelligence placed frontally. In fact, there is four different crystal sharing data but able to work autonomously if the one of them don’t work (or is destroyed), archiving the data mostly in the central crystal (optional and classified files are stored in hidden memories into the body)…

In fact, there is really the intelligence of four standard golems inside it. D.A.N.G.E.R could make multiple tasks simultaneously (even cooking) if you could add the good program.

This power of calculation allows the installation of a holographic augmented reality system in the cockpit, helping the scientist to coordinate the multiple sensors and get a better comprehension of the surrounding environment…

It can even repair itself if the damages aren’t critical…

(Of course, an anti-rebellion chip was integrated in D.A.N.G.E.R’s systems…otherwise owners would have many problems as injuries, crushed bones, combustion, chemical burnings…etc)

The voice recognition bound the voice to a single people, his or her master, only one able to order the golem. Every usurper will be terminated immediately…

-Tow retractable storages for samples or experiments available at the middle (incinerator for dead subjects as option), or huge of tools and scientific equipment. The central part could drive a complete scanner or simply a combined oven and freezing box (intellectual work often makes me hungry)…

D.A.N.G.E.R could also carry many package, but be careful, it is not a dolyak.

-I added the new system of hexagonal and octagonal articulations crystals (10), offering a front surface to the to the traction field created by superposition of tow powers crystals influence area. There parallel planes surfaces allow transmission of energy from the central reactor, then, the main crystals power crystal are recharging constantly and make work the different functions of the arms like weapons and captors.

-The head part consists in laterals detector and some various etheric-waves detectors (a blue band 15); added as a large band around the golem’s torso, tow rocket launchers optional with lockers could be placed on the shoulders.

A visual archiver process and two spotlights are included (11) , but holo-projector for videoconferences HD 6000 (from opticalium coterie) is an option.

-The most important part, it could drop some little shiny bombs to keep skritts and other thieves away…

– (12) In emergency, a security mod included allows the owner to take place quickly into the golem and escape the situation with fulmo-booster reactor jet programmed to land at the laboratory (efficiency not guaranteed in caverns…). In these situations, all the energy from the reactor is driven to the boosters, stopping shields and weapons in profit to vital functions…

The jet-booster separates the component of air at the entry to create of powerful stream at the exit by accelerating one of the components via selective arcanic field (system called MAD for magico-aero dynamic)…the particles are so accelerated at the three nozzles that they will be reduced as burning plasma.

Due to the weight of the golem, this system shouldn’t be used without care; the architect denies responsibility for every death by fire from people standing too close to the reactors…

Some jet propellers (13) were added to the legs and retractable solid holographic rudders (maintained with a crystal) which facilitate submarine propulsion.

With an air recycler, the golem could keep air for six hours.

-In a battle situation, D.A.N.G.E.R is able to use 10 different skills when an omega golem could use only 6…

Ect ect…and I certainly have forgotten many else…this comment is already very long.

Bookah translation: The best multiuse golem…just remember that. You couldn’t understand the rest in any way…the suit function was designed for asura *smirk*

*some yawning from judge later* well … I know I’d better now to stop me there…

<i> Note 16.2.1 for experiment report: Critical success, all the brains in this assembly are totally overloaded. Pseudo-technical speeches could apparently sleep many people in a very effective way; it should be a good idea for paralyzing weapons against Skritt or any other form of under-intelligence…<i>

Overpowered did you say? crazy? Useless? Boring ?

To make it clear, the golem is a really complex part of work. But once the different part received, after a month of work of a single genius and some assistants, the golem would be ready for use. Just remembers that golem is not an offensive but a defensive one. D.A.N.G.E.R won’t crush walls or gates for any army (although it can technically); it was designed to be the best bodyguard and research assistant (and eventually suit) for every asura scientist. The swiss-knife in every situation. The high end of personal golemancy and asuran technology…

I hope you will like it…

The price? Do you really want the price??

Hum…it’s an interesting topic *become nervous* (The price isn’t displayable yet…because…hmm…because there is not enough paper to write the positive exponent).

*try to escape the topic with discretion creating an illusion*

NIUM4onThat’s it! Congratulations to the winners, and once again thanks to everyone who took part.

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5 Responses to Mister Sparkles Mini: The Winners (Part 2)

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